Signs of a cheating spouse

This week die hard twilight fans woke up to the news the beloved fairytale was over between real life sweethearts Kirsten Stewart and Robert Pattison.  With news Robert Pattison was about to propose to Kristen Stewart, all plans are now off after Kirsten admitted to cheating on him with with director Rupert Sanders.

Considering that most affairs occur at the workplace, it was certainly no surprise when Online Investigations heard this.  Would it have made a difference if Robert was working on set with Kristen at this time? We will never know now, however from our experience as private investigators in Melbourne dealing with cheating spouses, infidelity and adultery, it certainly hasn’t stopped people before.

We can recall quite vividly of one surveillance job we worked involving a Male CEO, who ran his company with the help of his wife.  Unfortunately for her it was common knowledge among other staff he was having an affair with multiple other women, and at one stage even hired one of them to work as his assistant.  Of course the secret was out after the wife became suspicious and hired a private investigator to find out what was really going on.

So what are the signs of a cheating spouse?  These are the main signs as listed by Cheatingspouse.org.  We would have to agree!

1– When they no longer want sex or makes excuses to not have sex.

2 – When they will not allow you access to their computer or they suddenly shut down the computer when you walk into the room. They may password protect their laptop or computer to keep out suspicious eyes. Or they stay up to “work” or “play a game” on the computer after you go to bed. Excessive internet usage, especially late at night, is a red flag.

3 – When they begin to put distance between you or show a lack of interest in what has been the routine with few, if any, excuses for the change in their behavior.

4 – When they suddenly have to work late and have all kinds of new obligations that take them away from home repeatedly or for long periods of time. Or. . . they tell you they are working longer hours and discontinue allowing you to view their paycheck or pay stubs.

5 – If your loved one works with people, such as at a bar or restaurant especially as a waitress or bartender they might suddenly tell you not to visit them at work.  This usually means they are hiding something at their workplace whether it be with a co-worker or a regular customer such as at a bar.

6 – When they suddenly need a cell phone or pager and you are discouraged from ever looking at it or using it. They also may make certain their cell phone or pager cannot be answered by you by hiding it or taking it with them wherever they go. They are secretive about their cell phone or pager bill and pay it themselves when you have always paid the bill in the past.

7 – When they arrive home smelling faintly of perfume/cologne or another person’s body.

8 – When they arrive home and head straight into the shower or bath.

9 – When they have lipstick or strange hairs on their clothing or in the car. Finding strange phone numbers, receipts or condoms can also be clues.

10 – When they suddenly begin to treat you extremely nice; more so than usual.

11 – When they begin to make “kinky” requests or suggest wildly erotic play during sex including things you have never done before. They may also show an increased interest in sex or sexual things, including porn.

12 – When they talk to you they treat you abusively or with disdain, disrespect or excessive sarcasm. They may also demonstrate an unexplained aloofness or indifference in the relationship. Or. . . they may begin to find fault in everything you do in an attempt to justify their affair.

13 – Her: When she gets spiffed up and dresses provocative to “go grocery shopping” or to “get her hair done.” She may also show up with a sudden change of hair style. Him: When he showers, shaves (cologne, deodorant, etc.) and dresses up more than usual to “go out with his buddies” or to “go fishing.”

14 – When they break their established routine at work and home for no apparent or logical reason.

15 – When they become suddenly forgetful and you have to tell him/her everything several times; their thoughts are obviously elsewhere.

16 – When they are always tired or demonstrate a noticeable lack of energy or interest in the relationship.

17 – When they begin to intentionally look at or flirt with the opposite sex when in the past, this is something they would not have done.

18 – When you notice that they are reluctant to kiss you or accept your affection.

19 – When they ignore or criticize your affections and thoughtful ways.  Example : “Why are you so luvy duvy?  I’m just not like that.”

20 – When your phone bill shows an increase in unexplained toll or long distance charges. Often when a partner is acting too close or flirting with a best friend of the opposite sex, you will find their phone number listed excessively.

21 – When the passenger seat in the car has been changed and is not in the usual position or the mileage on the car is more than usual. Also increased gas purchases that are inconsistent with the amount of miles on the car.

22 – When they begin to keep a change of clothes hidden in the trunk of the car or an unusual amount of clothes changes at the gym.

23 – When you notice credit card charges for gifts (such as florist or jewelry) that you didn’t receive.

24 – When they begin to make sudden and excessive purchases of clothes or an unexplained change in clothing style. Beginning to purchase sexy underwear or lingerie may be a clue.

25 – When you notice an increase in ATM withdrawals. Cheating costs money! To play you must pay!

26 – When you notice that your partner loses their ability and desire to show the children the attention they need or a lack of desire to do any fix-ups around the house, e.g., lawn care, painting, cleaning the garage, house repairs, etc.  They might turn this around on you at the same time and accuse you of never doing anything or treating the child/children badly.

27 – When you notice an increased attention to losing weight or paying more attention to their appearance.

28 – When they begin to volunteer to go to the post office, rushes to check the mail before you do or opens up a new P.O. box perhaps without even telling you.

29 – When your partner shows up without their wedding ring or suddenly stops wearing it and makes lame excuses as to why.  This also goes for jewelry you might have purchased for them and you catch them not wearing it when they go out when usually they wear it at all times.

30 – When they get mysterious phone calls or when they hurry to answer the phone, leave the room to talk on the phone and when you ask who called, they say, “No one”, “Wrong number”, or “Why do you care?”

31 – Simple trips, such as to the grocery store or bank, take hours rather than the time it should take.

32 – Your loved one suddenly deletes all emails from the computer where as they used to accumulate.  Same goes for calls on the cell phone or caller ID.

33 – Your loved one seems to pick fights or finds reasons to fight only to stomp out of the house and away from you.

34 – You find a diaphragm, condom, birth control, etc., however, you have had either a vasectomy or she has had a tubal ligation.